The Scroll A Periodic newsletter for SAM's Lambs http://www.samslambs.org	*The Rev: A View from Upstairs*
*Why God Will Never Get Tenure at Any University* Only published one book. It was in Hebrew. It had no references. He did not publish it in referenced journals. Some doubt He even wrote it Himself. He is not known for his cooperative work. Sure. He created the world, but what has He done lately? He did not get permission from any review board to work on human subjects. When one of His experiments went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all the subjects. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted, He deletes the whole sample. He rarely comes to class. He just tells His students to read the Book. It is rumored that He sometimes lets His Son teach the class. Although He only has 10 requirements, His students often fail His tests. He expelled His first two students for learning. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top. (From faculty members at Kansas State University and instructors at Allen County Community College) Internet References: Singles in the Church: Is There Seating For One In The Church?	*From The Rev:* Like Fine Wine, Sin Just Gets Better With Age by Reverend Lance Robbins Rector, The Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd Recently a friend of mine sent along an article with a great title: "Like Fine Wine, Sin Just Gets Better With Age". We all know that sin is in fact a state of being - being out of sync with the God who made and cares for us. However, many of us still remember the seven deadly sins, and all the guilt we felt over these sins. Here are some thoughts on the "Latter Day Sins" from the pen of Niela Eliason. Although they are written for an older audience, perhaps they are relevant for all of us: Pride - Never hesitate to instruct the youth about the value of hard work and frugality. Take pride in being able to help them with our own good examples and accomplishments. Be sure to tell them about how it was in the Depression. They've heard if before, but they never tire of it. Anger - Justifiable anger is always in vogue. Greed - Greed is just another word for survival. For years we've been accumulating promised or actual Social Security benefits, lottery tickets, grocery-store coupons, mother's tea set and other valuables. Now, in our majority, prices outstrip our income and taxes leave us in a negative cash flow. Banks offer us reverse mortgages on our homes, allowing us to live in our own house, now mortgage-free, with a monthly payment from the bank. When we die, the bank gets the house. This is greed. How else are we going to pay for our early Bird dinners? Gluttony - Gluttony is no something oldies worry about. The contemporary dietary dogma so complex we've given up and gone back to eating anything we want to. If we adhered to all the current dietary restrictions, we couldn't be gluttonous if we tried. Remember when cookies and milk were the health foods we gave our children after school? Now whole milk is fatal and so are cookies. Eggs might give us salmonella. Cream of tomato soup is too salty to be considered and hamburger, the all-American staple, will congeal your innards. The only two t hings still permitted are (1) hot chili peppers to stimulate endorphins, and (2) a glass of wine to keep our arteries open. (Who ever wanted one glass of wine?) Envy - Envy is alive and well. We envy young, svelte bodies and shiny hair. That's about it. We do not envy struggling to get an education and finding no jobs available when we graduate. We do not envy having small children who whine and let their noses run. getting up at 5:00 am to go to work and then rushing home only to do the laundry at night is not attractive to retirees. We like being old. It's easier. Lust - Lust, like vanity, never dies. Lust is a characteristic that we share with animals. Animals are superior to and have advantages over humans. In addition to being better-looking, more efficient and more honest, animals do not know they are going to die and they suffer lust only seasonally. Sloth - Sloth is luxury. Latter Day sloths allow us to forbid out-of-town visitors to stay in our homes. We're too lazy. We have finally learned to reserve a room in a motel for them. How sweet it is to drop them off at the departing flights gate at the airport and then drive home blissfully free. Sloth is the reward of the old for the guilt, the "shoulds" and the "oughts" we have suffered in our lives. We have finally given up guilt. We have learned that if it hurts no one, do it. Or better yet, don't do it. Now we have choices. Faithfullly, The Rev. Lance D. Robbins Rector, Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, Webster NY The Reverend Lance Robbins is Rector for the growing flock at The Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1130 Webster Rd., Webster NY 14580. (585) 872-2281 and co-founder and leader of SAM's Lambs Singles Ministry

The Scroll
A Periodic newsletter
for SAM's Lambs
http://www.samslambs.org

The Rev: A View from Upstairs

Why God Will Never Get Tenure at Any University

Only published one book.
It was in Hebrew.
It had no references.
He did not publish it in referenced journals.
Some doubt He even wrote it Himself.
He is not known for his cooperative work.
Sure. He created the world, but what has He done lately?
He did not get permission from any review board to work on human subjects.
When one of His experiments went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all the subjects.
When sample subjects do not behave as predicted, He deletes the whole sample.
He rarely comes to class. He just tells His students to read the Book.
It is rumored that He sometimes lets His Son teach the class.
Although He only has 10 requirements, His students often fail His tests.
He expelled His first two students for learning.
His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

(From faculty members at Kansas State University and instructors at Allen County Community College)

Internet References:

Singles in the Church: Is There Seating For One In The Church?

From The Rev:
Like Fine Wine, Sin Just Gets Better With Age

by Reverend Lance Robbins
Rector, The Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd

Recently a friend of mine sent along an article with a great title: "Like Fine Wine, Sin Just Gets Better With Age".

We all know that sin is in fact a state of being - being out of sync with the God who made and cares for us.

However, many of us still remember the seven deadly sins, and all the guilt we felt over these sins. Here are some thoughts on the "Latter Day Sins" from the pen of Niela Eliason. Although they are written for an older audience, perhaps they are relevant for all of us:

Pride - Never hesitate to instruct the youth about the value of hard work and frugality. Take pride in being able to help them with our own good examples and accomplishments. Be sure to tell them about how it was in the Depression. They've heard if before, but they never tire of it.

Anger - Justifiable anger is always in vogue.

Greed - Greed is just another word for survival. For years we've been accumulating promised or actual Social Security benefits, lottery tickets, grocery-store coupons, mother's tea set and other valuables. Now, in our majority, prices outstrip our income and taxes leave us in a negative cash flow. Banks offer us reverse mortgages on our homes, allowing us to live in our own house, now mortgage-free, with a monthly payment from the bank. When we die, the bank gets the house. This is greed. How else are we going to pay for our early Bird dinners?

Gluttony - Gluttony is no something oldies worry about. The contemporary dietary dogma so complex we've given up and gone back to eating anything we want to. If we adhered to all the current dietary restrictions, we couldn't be gluttonous if we tried. Remember when cookies and milk were the health foods we gave our children after school? Now whole milk is fatal and so are cookies. Eggs might give us salmonella. Cream of tomato soup is too salty to be considered and hamburger, the all-American staple, will congeal your innards. The only two t hings still permitted are (1) hot chili peppers to stimulate endorphins, and (2) a glass of wine to keep our arteries open. (Who ever wanted one glass of wine?)

Envy - Envy is alive and well. We envy young, svelte bodies and shiny hair. That's about it. We do not envy struggling to get an education and finding no jobs available when we graduate. We do not envy having small children who whine and let their noses run. getting up at 5:00 am to go to work and then rushing home only to do the laundry at night is not attractive to retirees. We like being old. It's easier.

Lust - Lust, like vanity, never dies. Lust is a characteristic that we share with animals. Animals are superior to and have advantages over humans. In addition to being better-looking, more efficient and more honest, animals do not know they are going to die and they suffer lust only seasonally.

Sloth - Sloth is luxury. Latter Day sloths allow us to forbid out-of-town visitors to stay in our homes. We're too lazy. We have finally learned to reserve a room in a motel for them. How sweet it is to drop them off at the departing flights gate at the airport and then drive home blissfully free. Sloth is the reward of the old for the guilt, the "shoulds" and the "oughts" we have suffered in our lives. We have finally given up guilt. We have learned that if it hurts no one, do it. Or better yet, don't do it. Now we have choices.

Faithfullly,
The Rev. Lance D. Robbins
Rector, Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd,
Webster NY

The Reverend Lance Robbins is Rector for the growing flock at The Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1130 Webster Rd., Webster NY 14580. (585) 872-2281 and co-founder and leader of SAM's Lambs Singles Ministry