The Scroll
A Periodic newsletter
for SAM's Lambs
http://www.samslambs.org

Why God Will Never Get Tenure at Any University

1. Only published one book.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. He did not publish it in referenced journals.
5. Some doubt He even wrote it Himself.
6. He is not known for his cooperative work.
7. Sure. He created the world, but what has He done lately?
8. He did not get permission from any review board to work on human subjects.
9. When one of His experiments went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all the subjects.
10. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted, He deletes the whole sample.
11. He rarely comes to class. He just tells His students to read the Book.
12. It is rumored that He sometimes lets His Son teach the class.
13. Although He only has 10 requirements, His students often fail His tests.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

(From faculty members at Kansas State University and instructors at Allen County Community College)

Internet References:

Singles in the Church: Is There Seating For One In The Church?

From The Rev:   Some "Risso Therapy"

from Reverend Lance Robbins
Rector, The Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd

Be "very quiet".

A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter asks him what religion he belongs to.

The man tells him and Saint Peter says "oh, we have a lot of your kind here.

In fact, we have a special room for all of you so you can all be together!"

He leads the man down a long hallway with doors on either side.

They pass one door and they hear a bunch of yelling and hollering inside.

"Who's in that room?" the man asks. "Oh, those are the holy rollers," says Saint Peter.

"They make a lot of noise but they're pretty harmless".

They pass by another door which is nearly shaking off its hinges.

"Who's in there?" the man asks.

"That's the room for the Shakers" replies Saint Peter.

Then they approach another door. Saint Peter whispers to the man, "we must be very quiet going past this door. Don't make a sound."

They tiptoe past the door and when they get farther down the hallway the man asks Saint Peter who was in that room.

"Oh, those are the Catholics.

They think they're the only ones up here!"

Find More "therapy" in Pat's Corner in the Fun N Games room at The Singles Center (beware - not all is 'church'  humour)