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A Monthly Newsletter of SAM’s Lambs At The Episcopal Church Of The Good Shepherd Webster NY 585-872-2281 VM # 3 |
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Solo Flight 2006 -The Spirituality of Homing An Episcopal Singles Conference at Kanuga Conference Center Arriving home from an annual Episcopal Singles Conference at Kanuga Conference center in Hendersonville NC, our theme 'The Spirituality of Homing’ was still strong in my heart and mind. It reminded me somewhat of an article I wrote in 1998 while I was still
working as a traveling consultant and had to set up home at each new
location, but at that time I was concentrating more on the ‘logistics of
homing’ than the Spirituality of Homing. Thankfully I have progressed on
from there. You can take a peek at that article on my Singles Center site
at The Solo Flight conference was a chance to gather with like minded
singles who were also looking to experience the closeness of family and
home as part of God’s family. You can see the whole agenda for the
conference here – It was very healing and enriching to be part of a group of people who started out as strangers, or just Yahoo! Group participants, and over the weekend grew into a warm, loving, non-judgmental, inclusive family, adorned with shared wisdom, and insight into our own spirituality, and how to share our spirituality with others. As founder and leader of SAM’s Lambs, an Episcopal Single Adult Ministry, I had hoped to re-energize myself with the mutual leadership support I would find at the conference, but I came away with much more. My personal life has been enriched with new, loving, Christian friends, unabashed in expressing their feelings of friendship and loving support, as well as being lovingly reminded to take care of myself. After all, if we are to give love to others we first have to love ourselves, and take care of ourselves, and then the love we send out will come back to us in multiplicity. No other human being is responsible for my own happiness or to take care of my primary relationship – with God. When that relationship is well nurtured, all others will fall into place and grow as well. Our conference had some great Keynote speakers, workshops, meals, musical Eucharist services in a beautiful chapel, and was topped every evening with Cabaret! led by Rev. Bruce Stewart who taught us some new line dances. Although our Cabaret! included all the usual ingredients of hospitality like wine, beer, and munchies we didn’t even need to be primed with wine - the humour and conversations flowed like waterfalls, and enlivened our dance participation. I’m sure that outdoor pavilion by the lake hasn’t seen so much lively fun since the last Solo Flight Labor Day Conference. This was only the 2nd time I attended Solo Flight, but right from the first I have been impressed with the mix of intelligence, acceptance, Episcopalian humour, and bound together with a warm sense of spirituality. We are of various marital status – from Always Single, to Separated or Divorced, or Widowed, and a variety of age groups too, although most seemed over 40. Some singles were cradle Episcopalians, some were from other religions by way of friends or family, and some were unchurched seekers who were looking to learn about Christianity, and the Episcopal faith while making new single friends. But after a few hours, we all fit together, just like members of God’s family should. Our keynote speaker was Rev. Dr. Tom Breidenthal, Dean of Religious
Life and of the Chapel at Princeton University. Not only is he a good
speaker with inspiring vision, he and his wife were good role models of enthusiasm in
our line dancing at Cabaret! every evening. Rumor has it that he may be
nominated to be Bishop in Ohio, which would be a blessing for all there,
married folk as well as singles, but I have a feeling that Solo Flight
ministries there wouldn’t have the institutional and bureaucratic barriers
that seem to exist in some other Dioceses. You can view his address
online: (once it is posted) Rev. Dr. Kay Collier-McLaughlin, founder of Solo Flight, along with her good right hand and arm, and Charlotte Vowan of www.episcopalsingles.org and Solo Angels, conducted our workshops on Foundations for Ministry with Single Adults and Nuts & Bolts of Ministry with Single Adults. Their information was actually too in depth to detail in this summary article, but you can be sure it will surface in our own groups, like our SAM’s Lambs in Webster NY, but one of Kay’s main points in her presentation on Healthy Adult Relationships was – M.K.R. – Minimum Keeper Requirements which was very good, and is a set of ‘requirements’ we all agreed with. Rev. Bruce Stewart gave us a lesson on ‘Making Space for God: At Home in a House of Worship” and he was also our musical director, guitarist, and Cabaret! leader. Bruce is founder of Center for Liturgy and the Arts and has taken his creative skills all over the world. His Center’s description reads “a traveling resource providing teaching, performing, and consulting services in the use of arts in worship, community building, education and outreach”. The Center celebrated its 25th Year in 2005 and Bruce has participated at Solo Flight for the last 15 years. Rev. Jan Dunnavant’s presentation was on ‘The Womb: Our first Bodily Home: re- creating our ‘original’ home on this side of the veil” Her story of her recovery from the death of her husband touched our hearts. One piece of advice she passed on to us from her grief counselor rang very true for me, even though I am not a widow. It was about moving on and living our lives – don’t keep looking back ‘that door is closed. It’s time to move on’. I remembered dealing with the death of my brother who was killed at 21 by a drunk driver, 2 months after I married, in Canada, and moved to the U.S. with my new husband. I had felt like I was abandoning my brother when I left home to start my new life, and I had nightmares for 3 months after his death. But then I had a dream where I saw him walking into a bright light, looking very happy and and contented, and I heard a deep baritone voice say “Let The Dead Be Dead” and I woke up and sat straight up in bed and heaved a huge sigh of relief and I never had those nightmares again. I also remember somewhere in scripture where Jesus said ‘life is for the living’ and something about ‘let the dead bury the dead’. I guess if my memory was really good I could come up with the actual scripture but at least I remember the advice and meaning, if not the actual words. Our conference was filled with wonderful enrichment opportunities and learning experiences, like the creativity workshop, led by Michelle Wagner, one of our artists-in- residence, & Will Deal where we got to finish the small wooden crosses that Will, a skilled carpenter, had made for us. We used water color paints to adorn the crosses with whatever moved us as we did it. I am more of a text person than an artist but I did the best I could. But it reminded me of my talented sister who has been a skilled artist since she was able to hold a pencil or crayon, and of my own God-given talents that I neglect sometimes, and I vowed to revive those skills –writing, or playing guitar and piano, when I returned home, and lo and behold – you’re seeing one of them now – not highly gifted maybe, but still something of a gift that can be useful. All of the very informative presentations were good fodder and thought starters for our small group Common Ground Communities discussions that we held twice a day to share our personal stories, and give peer support to our questions and confusions on living single and nurturing our spirituality. Our Common Ground communities were small groups that we were assigned
to and met with twice a day. The leader of my group led us through our
discussions with thoughtful caring and wisdom, encouraging us to share
openly our private stories which helped the listeners, as well as the
person speaking. This was another opportunity for us to add to our circle
of trusted friends and grow friendships. I made many lasting connections,
not just in my Common Ground community, but in all areas, even with my
roommate. As in most churches, the women outnumbered the men, and it was
no different at Solo Flight, but the men there were of the Highest
quality, and most definitely would exceed Kay’s idea of M.K.R.
It’s amazing the connections that you see when you’re part of a group like this. I had been assigned to room 101, and arrived late, fearing that my roommate would be asleep, but I found that she was still awake, but had switched roommates. She had arrived with a friend and wanted to share a room with her instead, so she offered me her key to her assigned room which was next door. My intended roommate’s last name was Lamb, like my SAM’s Lambs group, and my new roommate was from New York city, and she and I were the only 2 from New York state, and not only that, her dead husband had worked on the Living Water Diocesan newspaper in Rochester NY, which was my Diocese. By the way her name is similar to mine – Beth, which I thought was short for Elizabeth like my name –Elizabeth, but hers is really Elsbeth, but very similar. God has ways of making us feel at home, right from the start, if we pay attention. One of my failings, is that I do tend to run on, and on, and on......., so I will spare you, and close now with one recommendation – if you want to know what really happens there - find a way to make it to Solo Flight at Kanuga next year – you will not regret it and you will come away, not only with many new friends, but spiritually enriched and content with your life as a single. If you’re in the Webster NY area, stop in and visit us at Good Shepherd church on the corner of Route 250 & State Road in Webster, where we meet on Tuesday evenings from 7 – 9 pm, or on the 3rd Saturdays when we do our Single Feasts – just bring $3, a dish-to- pass, and a smile or joke for our Risso Therapy – Healing through humour. If you have questions leave us a message on our Hot Line: 585-872-2281 voice mail # 3 . You can see some of our Risso Therapy (Churchy humour) on our SAM’s Lambs site: http://www.samslambs.org/TheRevSays/RissoTherapy.htm You can join our Solo Flight Yahoo! Discussions at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/soloflightepis/ Other Internet References: www.samslambs.org - Our home on the ‘Net with many useful links
http://www.samslambs.org/TheRevSays - Thoughtful articles on
singlehood
http://www.samslambs.org/Articles Useful information and
research Thoughts On Solo Flight 2002: http://www.singlescenter.com/Publisher/solo.htm The Rev: Father Lance’s pearls for singles: |
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